On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize