your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
