You're so nebulous sometimes
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
