girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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