I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
