Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
