after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
