hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
