he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
