the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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