I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize