i always forget guys have bellybuttons
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
