If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize