The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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