I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
