What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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