dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
