no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
