You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
