In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize