brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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