Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
