Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
