im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Houston, we have a squirter
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
