Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
