i already hear my dad disowning me
Slut skills are useful in every country.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
