Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize