She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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