Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
