I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
