I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
