I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
