Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
