So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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