i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize