can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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