i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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