you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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