dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
pray to the hookup gods
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
