Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize