My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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