she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
