just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
