exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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