I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Your penis caused this!
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
