Christians are straight up FREAKS
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize