We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
they need to just BURY HIM!
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
