3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
