In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
you had me at cake vodka
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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