I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
