Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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