it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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