I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
