hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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