I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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