I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
