I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
