True but thats because hes a fetus.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Randomize