I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
one might say we're banned from that church
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
