I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
