After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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