You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
