I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
