yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
